Saturday 28 February 2015

Feb 28th, 2015 Another Reflection

How time flies!

It felt like 2015 just whoosh by so quickly. Suddenly it's already the last day of Feb, goodness! I have lotsa things on my mind today, usually so too but somehow I woke up this morning reflecting on things that had happened years ago.


It's 7.43pm now btw and I had spent the last hour reflecting on other stuff as well while listening to music and burning my Peony scented candle. But I'll get to that later.


I woke up angry and sad. Maybe it was because recently 2 days ago I unfriend-ed an ex-bestie for the 2nd time and then yesterday I somehow managed to annoy another friend but for the record, I apologized soon after. Anyway, it was really about the dream I had_in my dream, I was betrayed by ex-bestie who claimed credits to the club establishment and I was reprimanded by our club advisor who weirdly turned out to be my high school English teacher. Yeah, weird stuff do happen in dreams.

So yes, I was angry, ready to defend myself and all. Then I woke up WTF

And started thinking about how maybe ex-bestie do deserve some credit for helping me out with Bunkasai a lot even though she didn't showed up for the event, uninformed. I reflected on how I could have done more, better and everything. But then, being new with leadership and all, you can say I'm ignorant. A friend, Marcus had once advised me not to put up a one-man-show and unfortunately, that was exactly what I did. But I learnt. In fact, the "How I could have done better (as a leader/for the event)" had popped out on my mind every now and then.

Nevertheless, it was something that I am proud of, establishing the club I mean.

And though there are a whole tons of things about how I could have done better I wished I had done, I kept reminding myself I couldn't turn back the time.

As for ex-bestie, I am not sure if I can see myself being close with her once more though I may have wished so at the bottom of my heart. It was her who took the initiative to add me once again as a friend on FB, but her lack _or none_ communication so after made me think it's just pointless. Therefore, I decided to remove her once more. Silly me, huh? Maybe I'll beat myself up for this next time but I just don't know yet.

I will just live for today and everyday.

Which brings me to present time LOL

I am still afraid that I will never achieve greatness. That I will just be one of the many unknown bloggers out there and that I will never get paid for doing what I love. Yes, I want to earn from doing things I love. Not that I am not but I just want to improve myself, be someone greater. Stuff like that. Recently I am thinking about getting a domain name then adding Nuffnang initially. But decided maybe Google Adsense would be a better choice. Well, I am still deciding...

After I have made more research, I'll just go for it!! :D

The second thing that is on my mind is about grandma's passing. I still cry thinking about it. It's one thing that reminds me to seize everyday as though I only get to live for another day. I want to remember this, ALWAYS.

 Alrightey, it's 8.07PM now. Guess it's time for me to blow the candle and read more blogs before I start writing another post! ☆-~(>vO)

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